Courting Disaster. Chapter 9.

[pekeleke]

Title: Courting Disaster. 9

Rating : Probably NC-17 by the time its done.

Author: pekeleke

Word Count: 2229

Warnings: None.

Disclaimer: Don't own these characters. No money is being made out of this work.

A/N: This will be a multi-chaptered fic. It is at the moment a WIP.

Summary: For once in his life Harry Potter has a plan. A carefully plotted plan to help him conquer the heart of an extremely reluctant Severus Snape, only... conquering a suspicious ex-spy isn't for the fainthearted and soon Harry finds himself -quite literally- courting disaster.

Courting Disaster.

 

Harry watches Severus prowl up and down the waist-high rows crammed full of softly swaying blooms through worried green eyes.  Although the Slytherin had seemed relatively calm when he'd showed up at his shop in order to make good on his promise to deliver another semi-public, yet private enough, second date he's been clearly on edge since they arrived at their destination.

Watching him turn the corner restlessly a few paces ahead of him Harry bites his lower lip with growing unease, wondering for the hundredth time in the last half hour if bringing the other man here has been an awful mistake.  He'd thought long and hard about going to the theater instead, but had ended up deciding against it out of respect for Severus' expressed desire to avoid being in the public eye as much as humanly possible and now he can't help the unwelcome suspicion that, by trying to indulge his beloved's wish for privacy, he may have ended up disappointing him with his choice of venue.

“Is there something wrong with this place, Severus?  You look restless and... annoyed. I assumed that you'd appreciate seeing so many medicinal plants under a single, weather-controlled roof, but now I'm not so sure about that.  I was trying to give you something I thought you'd enjoy while keeping our outing private.  Not many people realize that these hothouses are open year-round so we have the place mostly to ourselves, in case you are worrying about that.”

Those reedy black-clad shoulders shift uncomfortably as their owner finally stops his anxious pacing, coming to a sudden halt directly in front of a profusion of white orchids with strangely frayed petals.
“I've never seen one of these outside a book.”  Severus mutters out loud, obviously attempting to offer him some sort of oblique apology for his current behavior without having to actually explain the source of his discomfort and Harry's heart sinks all the way down to his toes.

“We don't have to stay here if you don't like the place, my love.  I've messed up, somehow, and I'm sorry that my choice has managed to upset you so much.  We could still make it to the theater if we leave right now.  I'm pretty sure they'll ignore our casual attire and whip up a couple of last minute tickets for the great Harry Potter and his guest, if we show enough contrition.”

Despite his expectation to the contrary Severus doesn't receive his apologetic offer as well as he expects him to and he ends up frowning with puzzled anxiety as he watches that usually pale face acquire a distinct green sheen while those black eyes darken even further with crystal clear guilt when they finally settle over him.
“No.  There's no need to relocate at all.  I—This isn't the kind of place I expected you to take me and I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the idea that you know me way too well for my comfort, Po—Harry.”

Relief floods Harry's quivering form from the top of his head all the way down to his toes and he smiles with delighted glee, approaching his companion slowly enough to avoid startling him into further retreat but with far more confidence than he'd dared to show since their arrival.
“Did you really think you'd managed to hide your encyclopedic knowledge of flowers successfully?  I'm sorry to burst your bubble, my prince, but you tend to be rather obvious in your passions.  Listening to any conversation between Narcissa Malfoy and you about the state of her greenhouse blooms would put professor Sprout in a estate of pure bliss.  I'd bet you know the actual name of most of these plants.  Even that flower you can't stop admiring looks to me like another gorgeous, if odd, little orchid but I bet you know exactly what its called.  You probably know a hell of a lot more than that about it, don't you?”

Severus' breath hitches just as Harry finally reaches him, coming to a halt beside his tall and flustered figure.  There is a visible blush painting those elegant cheekbones a delicate shade of pink and his dark haired Slytherin looks both wary and strangely uncertain, almost like a doe posed on the very verge of flight.  A frightened creature who hasn't yet decided whether it should take the first leap away from danger or remain exactly where it is.
“It's called the White Egret or Habenaria Radiata, if you want the exact name, Harry.  This orchid is endemic to Japan and it's often associated with the idea of loss.  There is an old legend that claims the White Egret to be the flower one should offer only to those who are expected to be lost forever, never to return back to whichever place they got it from or whoever gave it to them.  This is a symbol of goodbye.  A small homage to all those things that... fly... away."

Harry swallows his unease and looks down towards the delicate stalks topped with small, bird-shaped flowers, wondering why Severus' mind has chosen to fix on these particular blooms even as he lifts a single fingertip to touch a small ragged-looking petal with careful gentleness.
"It's a beautiful form of goodbye, I think.  Not that it really matters all that much, since I suppose that if you care enough about someone to give him them one of these, something inside you must be praying all along for your hunch to be proven wrong."

"I tried to conjure one of this flowers once.  I wanted to give it to Albus before he left on that useless last trip of his.  I still remember the relief I felt when the transfiguration didn't take.  I was stupid enough to convince myself that, since I hadn't been able to give it to him, it must mean that he was bound to return to Hogwarts."

Harry's throat closes tight at the pain so clearly turning that smooth, gorgeous voice into a harsh hissed rumble.  His fingers tense under the fragile-looking petal and he moves them swiftly away and out of sight, closing them into a small, white-knuckled fist in order to avoid making a grab for Severus' shaking arm.
"He did return, my love.  He didn't die away from home."  He finally whispers softly, aching all the way down to his bones with the instinctive desire to gather that tall and lanky frame and plaster it against his own pounding heart with as much gentleness as he can possibly muster.  Eager to offer his clearly hurting beloved all the comfort that he's so willing to give him but is pretty darned certain won't be particularly well received at the moment.

"He died, anyway.  He didn't even make it into the castle."  Severus reminds him quietly and there's something so very fragile about the way in which he holds himself so rigidly straight that Harry can't help comparing him once again to a young, wary and wounded doe.  He's so hesitant to come forth, so very afraid and reluctant to accept comfort, so breakable in his beauty.

"Maybe we should buy a handful of these.  You could lay them on his tomb the next time you visit him.  I'm sure he'll be chuffed to be given a poetic Japanese goodbye.  He was always a bit of a showman, that old coot."

Severus' dark eyes settle over the small flowers with thoughtful intensity.  Delicate white fingertips trace the small winged petals as he admits with raw-toned ferocity:
"I was so furious with him that I wanted to hit him.  We fought like crup and kneazle the last time I ever saw him.  I never had the chance to say goodbye properly.  I—It was the same with your mother, too.  I'm pretty terrible at this sort of thing, Potter.  Telling someone I care about how much they mean to me seems as impossible as trying to build Hogwarts single-handedly."

The moment hangs between them as they stand side by side, watching those ragged little flowers through sorrow-filled eyes.  They have managed to share part of their painful past in a way that Harry knows Severus Snape hasn't had all that many chances to experience before now.  It must be terrifying for a man as formal and usually reticent as his companion tends to be to have opened quite so much to another human soul.  Harry's heart feels both heavy and grateful in equal measure.  He's both breathless and shaken by the unexpected turn that his planned picnic date in a beautiful but isolated Scottish hothouse garden has just taken.  He feels happy and sad and hopeful for their future in a way that he hasn't found the courage to dare feeling before now, because he knows that whatever has happened to make his companion decide that he's trustworthy enough to keep so many of his secrets safe will also grant him access to a thousand other carefully guarded thoughts and feelings.  To a thousand little quirks that this man doesn't ever share freely.  He's been finally granted access to the shy creature he's been glimpsing as if through a hazy glass these last few years.  He has entered the small and exclusive club of those who've earned the right to actually see the real face of one of the greatest spies who has ever lived.

Golden-toned fingers seek and curl around potion-tainted ones while his green eyes raise ever so slowly to stare right into the ebony-colored depths of Severus' widened gaze.
"You could start with hello, my prince.  There's no reason to go all the way down to goodbye with most people and the things that go in the middle will either come to you at the right moment or be assumed by those of us who adore you just as you are.  I bet Draco doesn't care about the fact that you very rarely -if ever- tell him that you love him, but I've seen the two of you together and, trust me, Severus, your care for him shines through despite your lack of words.  Professor Dumbledore knew how you felt about him and so did my mother, too.  You've got no reason to regret never having been given the chance to tell them goodbye to their faces."

Severus' hand grips his for a brief second before the man pulls it hastily away.  He takes a rattled deep breath and a single step backwards, breaking eye contact with him to gaze around the empty hothouse with crystal-clear discomfort.
"You are a strange mixture of perception and boldness, Po—Harry.  I have the uneasy certainty that you can read me like a book most of the time.  It's... disconcerting."

"So I know you have a heart and genuinely like flowers.  There's no reason for any of that to be a state secret, Severus.  There's no reason for you to look so unsettled by my awareness of it, either.  You know a hell of a lot about me, too."

"But you've always been an open book whereas I have spent most of my life trying to hide my thoughts away.  Feeling this exposed makes me nervous."

"Is that why you were pacing up and down the flowerbeds like a caged hippogriff?  You gave me the fright of my life.  I thought I had botched our date, you, git!"

"I'm sorry.  I've already told you that I'm pants at this sort of thing.  I wish I hadn't gone all emotional on you just now, but trying to keep my response to your choice of venue under wraps seems to have made it all the more difficult for me to cope with the unexpected sight of the White Egret."

"That's alright.  I'm not perfect at this either and I'd rather you allow yourself to show whatever emotions you are feeling at any given time than watch you struggle to keep them all bottled up and hidden from my sight.  Getting to know one another is the entire point of courtship, Severus."

"I could argue that you already know me better than most people."  The slytherin tells him with a small chuckle and Harry's mild sense of disquiet evaporates like morning dew in the presence of sunshine.

"I don't know you nearly as well as I wish to, my love.  But I'm hoping you'll keep on letting me stick around for long enough to learn precisely what makes you tick."

Thoughtful dark eyes settle over him for a long second, studying his face intently in the unforgiving light of the bright Lumos spell that illuminates the hothouse despite the fact that the natural light of the winter evening faded hours ago.

"I'd like to learn what makes you tick, too, Harry Potter."  Severus finally whispers into the quiet that surrounds them and Harry has the sudden certainty that the comment is more pledge than statement.  More vow than simple remark.  More promise than the assertion of a desire for further knowledge.  His heart swells with the deep elation of sudden and undeniable hope and he can't stop himself from smiling right up into his companion's narrow face with the kind of radiance that sends one of the Slytherin's elegant eyebrows climbing up across his lily-white forehead in puzzled demand for the kind of clarification that he's thoroughly delighted to offer:

"I thought you'd never ask, my prince."
 

( Chapter 8. )

( Chapter 10 )

 

Comments

[soleo]

What a beautiful moment. Sharing something so personal on their second date. Severus is like an onion. lol many layers! and peeling them back one by one can be an experience for tears. but it looks like it's going well so far for Harry and Severus.

[pekeleke]

I agree with you on the point that Severus is like an onion and in here he allowed Harry to see a very private part of him. I've always imagined that Severus' relationship with Albus would have left him badly scarred due to how terribly it ended and having him share his thoughts about it with anyone surely is a giant step in the right direction.

Thanks, as always, for keeping up with this story, my friend. Your lovely comment was greatly appreciated. ;)

[sighing_selkie]

My heart-strings are ringing :)

[pekeleke]

I'm glad that you're enjoying this story. Thanks so much for your lovely comment. :)

[adafrog]

Very good additions.

[pekeleke]

Thanks, ada! :)

[cats_elfin]

That's been a very poetic and especially touching chapter. I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you so much :)

[pekeleke]

I'm glad that you're enjoying this story so much. Thanks for taking the time to both read and review. Your lovely comment was greatly appreciated. :)

[myk_myk]

Such a touching chapter! Their second date was a bit sad when they were talking about Albus and Lily, but the end is hopeful! I'm so glad that Severus finally decided to trust Harry.
I'm waiting for their next date, maybe Harry will be bold enough to kiss Severus for good-bye?

[pekeleke]

Severus' many hangs up stem from rather sad episodes in his life, so dealing with them won't be easy. It has to be done, though, so that he might end up walking finally free of them all and allowing himself to be loved in the way he should have been all along...

Yes, Severus is slowly learning to trust Harry with his thoughts and emotions. It's a slow but constant process and I'm sure Harry will continue to work hard to make his love fall for him.

Their next date is coming out very soon. And no. I'm not telling you if there will be a kiss or not. That will spoil the suspense of wondering constantly about it, wouldn't it?

Thanks, as always, for taking the time to both read and review, myk. Your lovely comment made me smile so hard... :)

[teryarel]

What an emotional date. For Severus it must be disconcerting and frightening to realize how well Harry knows him. He is someone who spent such a big part of his life hiding /everything/. It is good to see that he is finally willing to open up to and to learn more about his partner, as well.

I especially liked the white egret. First I thought you had lost a "r" along the way, and I didn't get the hint about those "things that fly away". But when I googled the orchid... It is such a beautiful thing! How did you come up with it?

[pekeleke]

Hello there, teryarel! :D

I'm thrilled to hear that you enjoyed the boys' second date so much and yes, Severus has spent so much of his life trying to hide himself from everyone around him that he simply can not cope with the idea that Harry knows him so well.

I'm chuffed that you liked the white egret and I'm sorry to have to confess that I came up with it through pure and simple research. There is another snarry author who is a very dear friend of mine, her pen-name is Sheankelor, and she has a particular weakness for flowers, so I had already decided that this chapter was going to feature flowers prominently as a gesture towards her. Once I had that point clear id didn't take me long to realize that it was way too soon to have Harry delivering a flower bouquet to Severus, so the idea that Sev is a closet botany enthusiast was born. Everything became even clearer once I decided that we were going to tackle the issue of Dumbledore here, so I started searching for flowers that are associated with loss/death/goodbye and, literally, picked the one I liked the best from the long list I found.

I hope this explanation doesn't manage to destroy whatever magic the white egret created in your mind as you read this. Sometimes authors' explanations are a bit too mundane for the little perfect world they create while they write.

Thanks, as always, for taking the time to both read and review another chapter of this story. Your lovely comment meant the world to me. :)

Hugs
pekeleke