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The voice under all silences. Chapter 42
 

Softened green eyes blinked dazedly in the amber-tainted shadows and a smile that held the brightness of starlight curved the boy's lips upwards.

I don't think I'll ever tire of hearing you say that, Severus...”

He was kissed once again and this caress seemed to drizzle devotion over the tender surface of his kiss-swollen lips. Harry's hands tangled in his long hair, brushing it gently away from his flushed face and he felt utterly cherished and at peace in this one moment. He felt wonderfully adored and even... Yes: he felt perfectly beautiful.

All his previous nervousness had now abandoned him and in its place there was now a deep thrum of intense awareness. His blood felt heavier, hotter, and far more sluggish than normal as it traveled through his every vein and pounded with mighty force against every pulse point that he possessed. His skin felt tighter and warmer, it felt more sensitive than usual and it seemed to strain against the clothing that was rubbing constantly at it in the most irritating manner. His robes felt suddenly too heavy. Too stifling, like an unbearable burden that he couldn't possibly carry for much longer.

Harry's lips descended slowly towards his pointy chin and he was startled when the auror sucked gently on it, pulling carefully on the pale skin that covered his jawbone and placing small kitten-like bites all along the closely-shaved expanse of flesh that ran from chin to ear. He shivered as the boy seemed to inhale his very skin and felt the touch of that hot breath caress the soft shell of his ear, like a kiss born form fire-warmed air.

I want to see you bare, Severus... Will you allow me to unbutton your robes and discover what it is that you are wearing underneath?”

That request, so gently whispered against the reddening curve of his ear, forced his heavy-lidded eyes to stare dazedly up at the bright emerald gaze that was focused solely on him.

I... I'm wearing a white shirt under my robe. I always wear a shirt...” He babbled in flustered response to Harry's rough-toned words and gulped with wide-eyed trepidation when he saw the auror smile and bring an incredibly skilled hand towards the small dark buttons that held the thick linen of his winter robes closed. One by one the small round fastenings became undone and he tensed, ever so slightly, against the unrelenting dexterity that was so easily divesting him of a layer of protection that he found so very necessary.

Devoted green eyes were fixed on his face, studying his every expression with a focus that unnerved him. He tried to blink more often than normal, attempting to hide his increasing trepidation behind the fragile barrier of his fluttering eyelids, but the gryffindor was unrelenting in his determination to burrow under his every defense, dig under every barrier that he tried to build between them, no matter how small.

There's no need to be so nervous, Severus. They are only buttons. There's not even an inch of exposed skin under this thing. Would you rather I take my own shirt off? Would that make you feel... less vulnerable?”

His eyes closed and he turned his head away, suddenly bashful. He didn't know exactly what he'd been expecting, but it hadn't been this... slow and devastatingly excruciating dismantling of his every defense. He didn't know what he wanted. What would settle this sense of... unease that was eroding his self-confidence and making him shiver with sheer dread. He felt utterly unable to respond to Harry's question in any way and simply waited for the child to find a way to make this better.

Lips returned to his ear a second later and he felt them warm his skin with gentle care. His cheekbones were muzzled against and his hair was loosely combed. His forehead was touched, then kissed in a strangely fatherly fashion and he closed his black eyes tightly, allowing himself to be soothed in this way.

Delicate fingertips brushed against the fan of his eyelashes and they tickled him enough to make him smile. His horrible, twisted nose was traced again, and again, and then the hollow that laid between his anxiously bobbing Adam's apple and the juncture of his jaw was delicately laved. He felt the wetness of warm, open-mouthed kisses settle against his skin and it felt as if that touch had set him on fire. Sensation erupted against his every pulse point and his neck turned into water, relaxing against the soft cushions in such a way that the area became invitingly exposed to Harry's devastating ministrations. He didn't know when his shirt was opened wide, but he felt those silken lips settle, like sun-warmed petals, against the puckered skin that covered the mangled area where Nagini had once bitten him. His shoulders tensed once again and his ebony-black eyes shot open with fear. Harry's head lifted up immediately and their eyes clashed in the semi-darkness for a long and strained second.

I... that scar is so ugly... I have many scars like that. Maybe we should... I don't want you to see them, Harry...”

Trembling digits framed his face and he was rendered speechless by the sheer pain he saw flashing across the emerald orbs that looked down on him.

This scar is what's left of a choice made with bravery, Severus. This was wrongly given to you, at a time when you could have probably saved yourself if you'd tried. But you didn't. You chose to save us all with your own sacrifice, instead. There's nothing ugly about that.”

Those words fell against his lips, against his cheek and neck, against the very skin they were describing and then seemed to sink deep beneath his flesh. Tension left him and he fell against the cushions once again, exposing himself further to those darkening green eyes, becoming utterly Harry's. Lips returned to his neck and then he felt them traveling down the recently undressed skin of his thin shoulder. His chest was unwrapped slowly, so very slowly. He felt like a gift of fragile beauty that those eyes, those hands, those lips were revealing into the firelight with devoted, soul-deep reverence.

Harry removed his own shirt and his eyes feasted on the athletic beauty before him. He gasped aloud, utterly unable to contain that dazed sound of appreciation and a soft, pleased smile lit up the boy's face.

You can touch too, you know?”

His hand was held and then placed over silken, warm skin and his fingertips curled uncertainly against wisps of short dark curls. They felt rough against his skin and he found them so utterly intriguing that he twirled them around his pinky finger with bashful curiosity. Harry gasped when his nail accidentally scratched against the erect nub of a nipple and the sound left him breathless with the feverish realization that he could make this young man writhe under his touch. Boldness swept along his veins and he repeated the scratchy action once again. And then again. His mouth tried to kiss a trembling, strong shoulder but the caress ended up being delivered almost on the raise of the boy's pectoral. The lack of accuracy didn't seem to matter in the slightest as his companion gasped aloud and groaned, holding his dark head gently and begging him not to stop.

That's it. That's it, Severus. You take what you want, when you want it, and the rest will come eventually...”

He was so enthralled by the boy's tanned skin that he attempted to map it with a myriad of soft kisses. He was touching, and being touched, blindly on the shoulders, on the chest and nipples. He was kissing and being kissed, bitten, licked, unveiled, embraced...

Time, space, and all other sensations disappeared from his consciousness and his world became reduced to the expanse of his own skin. To Harry's. Clothes became barriers that had to be conquered. Vanquished. Removed. And he took his own, and Harry's, clumsily away, whenever they disturbed the gentle glide of his hand over fire-warmed skin. Whenever his lips encountered coarse linen, instead of satiny and slightly sweaty flesh.

His breath halted when the boy's finger-pads settled against his jutting hipbones and he finally understood that they had devoured each other's torsos like jungle beasts. They were embracing each other tightly. Coiled around one another in such a way that he could feel Harry's heartbeat against his own arm and the boy's messy dark head rested against the concave hollow of his stomach.

Are you ready, Severus?”

The question exploded in the sudden tension like the lash of a whip and he felt himself surrendering to his own nerves. His long fingers dug in Harry's hair and pulled on it with desperate panic, forcing the auror to look upwards for an instant. Their eyes clashed and Harry's own became obscured by concern. The boy shifted against him. Crawled back over his chest until their faces were eye to eye once more and every word the gryffindor pronounced became a fervent whisper meant to bless his drying lips.

I love you. I will settle for just this if you aren't ready. We can cuddle for the rest of tonight and leave this here. There's plenty of time, Severus. I don't want you to do this unless you are certain...”

The panic that was crawling through his veins settled at once and he sighed as Harry brought their foreheads together. Their breaths mingled and they became cocooned within a bubble of beautiful understanding that protected them from the outside world and united them together in equal measure.

I'm certain, Harry. I'm just nervous. I... I'm afraid. And I don't know what I should do...” His words came to a sudden halt. A fierce blush rose along the lines of his sharp cheekbones and he closed his own eyes tightly, feeling utterly embarrassed.

A single, rough-tipped fingertip came to trace the jutting line of his jawbone, setting against his pointy chin with determined intent and pulling on it upwards, until his eyes fluttered open and their gazes met once again, forcing him to accept the patient devotion that shone only for his benefit from within the darkening depths those loving emerald eyes.

"There's no reason to be nervous, Severus. It's only me...”

The moment hung as they looked straight into each other's eyes with the strength their feelings gave them. His senses reeled as he felt himself fall into a kind of trance where nothing else existed but these green eyes and these softly curled eyelashes. This messy hair and these wide shoulders. This gentle hands that were traveling, once more, along his body. Reawakening his nerve-endings to the tingling sensations caused by their fiery touch before settling, once again, against the short string of buttons that were keeping his fly closed. His breath halted as the first fastener fell victim to Harry's dexterity and the second and the third surrendered too. His world became a blur of flustered blinking and dry swallowing. There was a loud roar in his ears and his heart stilled for a second as those hands parted his fly, revealing him utterly to the hunger in those green eyes. Harry looked straight at him, licking his lips unconsciously in a gesture of deep lust. Determined young hands dug under his loosened trousers, burrowing under the cloth until they settled, like a pair of branding manacles, against the bare skin of his slender hips.

I'm going to pull all of these clothes off you now, Severus. Then I'll vanish my own far away and well be both equally nude. If you are having second thoughts about any of this, now is the right time to voice them, my love. It'll be Hell for me to stop after I lay your pale skin in all its glory against the colored softness of these pillows...”

He gulped so loudly in the sudden silence that he was certain Harry must have heard the shameful sound, but the boy didn't say anything else and he found himself divested of his trousers a second later. His socks were removed before he could even blink and then a powerful wave of wandless magic washed over them. The sight of Harry, sitting right next to him without a single stitch on, made something utterly wild growl with possessive fierceness deep inside him. His dark eyes widened and his breathing became heavy. He felt nervous and on edge when finally he realized that the boy was actually looking down at him with riveted attention

Harry...”

"Does it bother you so much, Severus? Is it really that difficult to believe that I can look at you and see beauty?" The boy asked him that question with a quiet sort of curiosity as he crawled back up, over the pile of fire-warmed cushions, and settled himself carefully alongside his left flank.

"I'm not exactly handsome..." He knew that his eyes were still wider than usual, but he felt far more calmer now that the gryffindor wasn't towering directly above him. His eyes roamed over every line of Harry's body that he could see and he had to fight the heat that rose in his cheeks when his gaze encountered the sight of the boy's jutting erection, raising proudly forth from within a nest of ebony-black curls.

"I... that looks way too big, Harry.”

Soft laughter rumbled against his arm as the auror chuckled and a very careful hand settled delicately against the inner curve of his thigh, just above his right knee, stroking him soothingly. Harry rubbed his pale skin in a series of barely there circular motions and his breath hitched at the boldness of the touch. His eyes darkened with nervousness but he nudged his own knee against the boy's palm, opening himself further to more intimate explorations. Harry's hand began to tremble as it rose along his inner thigh and curled upwards, gently gliding towards his hipbone without actually coming into direct contact with any part of his groin.

You've got to trust me from now on, my love. Do you understand me? From this moment everything I do is going to start feeling very invasive to you and some of it... it will be uncomfortable, Severus. There'll be a tiny bit of pain involved in this, but it should pass soon. I'll try my best to make it as enjoyable as possible for you, but... you've got to trust me" The boy whispered those words quietly and he shivered in reaction to the warning they contained. He felt an inexplicable faith in this young man as he lay there, nervous gaze fixed on Harry's and chest frozen with expectation. His gryffindor loved him. There was nothing to fear here and he did trust the boy beyond all doubt. His Adam apple bobbed as he half-rose and deposited a soft, dry-lipped kiss against the auror's opened mouth, then he gathered all his courage and took hold the hand that Harry had laid quietly at his hip and dragged it first sideways and then slightly down.

I do trust you” He exhaled his own response in a half groan as his own digits tried to curl Harry's shorter fingers around his own erection. The boy gasped above him, making him shudder with sheer nerves and he couldn't resist the urge to hide his flaming face against Harry's strong shoulder.

You are so brave...” That one sentence fell against his ear like a sort of benediction and he blinked in dazed response to it. He couldn't figure out how to respond to that strange comment as Harry's fingers shook his own away and decided to take charge. Roughened skin surrounded his cock in warm heat and he was enclosed within the boy's palm with careful gentleness. His blood throbbed deep inside his groin and he felt his erection reach painful levels of hardness within the circle of Harry's hand.

OH!...” His back tensed and his hips froze while every thought flew out of his mind and he just shivered... He'd never felt like this before. Had never allowed anyone touch him quite this intimately and it didn't feel at all like touching himself. Harry's hand began to glide up and down his aching shaft with a painful sort of slowness and it felt as if that hand was trying to learn his every contour. Brand him. Soothe him, bring him straight into a new world where he could lie within this hold for all eternity. His heart began to pound wildly against the cage of his own chest and he could feel a single droplet of sweat beginning to bead against his temple. He was shaking now so much that he had to sneak a hand around Harry's waist in an effort to find anchor for himself.

"It's all right, Severus. It's all right. You've got to trust me now and let yourself go. Do you understand me? You've got to stop fighting yourself and surrender to the needs of your own body. It knows exactly what it wants. It'll try to find it..." Harry murmured quietly against his ear, cradling Severus' shaking form against his own heaving chest with his free arm, while his right hand continued to wank him with that very same excruciatingly slow tenderness.

Harry...”

His eyes shot open and he looked frantically upwards, suddenly feeling utterly overwhelmed and afraid of the speed with which he was losing all control over his senses. The boy kissed him on the lips and smoothed his free hand over the curve of his back in a wide, reassuring arch.

It's alright, Severus. I'm right here...”

He gave a strangled groan and tried to stop his hips from impaling his erection even more deeply within the increasingly wetter heat of Harry's curled fingers. He was unable to control the agony of need that was sweeping through his senses, forcing him to arch his long spine and gasp out loud dazedly, as his erection rubbed against the calloused fingers that held it, arousing it ruthlessly. He threw back his head and groaned in dismayed shock as his hips undulated unconsciously and his body felt as if he'd been suddenly engulfed by Fyendfire. Harry smiled and lowered his head to lick a broad swathe of skin, from the hollow of his collarbone to the underside of his narrow chin.

That's it, my love, let yourself go...”

The auror bit softly along the curve of his jawbone, making inroads towards the unexplored spot just behind his earlobe and whispered nonsensical encouragement all along, telling him how hot his growing hardness felt against his palm. Describing the silky texture of his erection. Revealing how his eyes were shining, like dark polished gems, and his pre-come felt like tiny drops of searing lava branding the boy's hand... His senses reeled with over stimulation and every breath was a triumph in and of itself. He felt heavy, hotter, dazed. He was trying to think, but his body was incapable of the action. It was only programmed to react. To pulse and writhe under Harry's incredibly skilled caresses. He had been born to unravel, layer by layer, beneath the touch of this maddeningly stubborn child. He grunted softly when Harry's fingers ghosted across the small of his back, settling against his skin and grounding his senses briefly.

Are you willing to be mine, Severus Snape?”

His eyes widened at the question and he struggled to look directly into those passion-glazed green eyes.

I'm already yours, Harry...”

That young face melted with so much adoration that he felt himself just... shatter into a thousand little shards of sheer fragility. He belonged here. In these arms, within this gaze. Inside this beautiful world that consisted of nothing but them both, entwined over a mound of jewel-colored pillows.

I love you. I love you with all of my heart...” The words left him like a whisper or a prayer and he felt them sink beneath the boy's skin and seek refuge deep inside him. Harry shivered in reaction and those eyes filled with a thin film of bright tears.

I love you, too. Severus. And now I'm going to make you mine forever...”

A trembling hand rose then towards the darkened corridor that led to the bedrooms and he heard the boy summon a bottle of lube as if through a loud roar of thunder. His eyes were wide and his heart was pounding with sheer nervousness but his mind was crystal clear. He wanted this to happen tonight. He wanted it to happen just like this. He wanted to lose his virginity by this fireplace, over these cushions. He wanted to learn all about pleasure at the hands of this man, while he felt this very same overwhelming mixture of expectant trepidation and earth-shattering certainty.

A plain colored jar reached Harry's extended hand and he watched the boy open it with a heavy coil of heat sinking ever so deeply in the pit of his stomach. Golden oil clung to the auror's fingers as he dipped them into the opened bottle and then lifted them out again, leaving the container carefully on the floor.

Harry gathered him up, cradling him against his heart like a precious treasure and he felt that slick hand trace a path of silken fire down the line of his spinal chord. This time the hand didn't stop at the small of his back but continued down unerringly, gliding over the furrow that lay between his buttocks and tracing idly up and down, stroking him lazily there. His frenzied trembling resumed and a whimper that was a strange mixture of genuine nerves and anticipatory desire escaped his drying lips.

Sssshh!, Ssshhs, Severus. There's no need to feel any fear. I'm going to look after you, I swear...”

A soft kiss was placed against his sweaty brow, and then he felt Harry's index finger burrow ever so slightly downwards, towards the most intimate part of himself. The boy pressed against the puckered skin that surrounded his entrance with careful gentleness. Tension grabbed hold of him then and he stiffened in the arms that held him tenderly. Harry whispered sweet nothings against his ear, kissed his shoulder, his temple. Tried to soothe his flank with broad, sweeping caresses of his free hand, but he could not pay attention to any of that. His senses were all centered on the ever-increasing sensation of sheer pressure that Harry's constantly circling finger was causing around the delicate skin of his untouched entrance. With a sudden downwards sweeping of his head the auror kissed him on the mouth with such a passion that his head was forced backwards. He responded to the kiss almost instinctively opening his mouth at once and welcoming that familiar tongue within himself with a sense of deep belonging. Then he realized that the feeling of almost unbearable pressure against his opening that he'd been trying, so desperately, to adjust to had vanished and a sudden, strange burning had replaced it. He pulled out of the kiss and blinked straight up at Harry, finally aware that the boy... the boy had actually entered his body during that kiss and now there was a slick index finger gently rocking back and forth inside of him.

"Is this all right?" Harry asked softly, brushing a dry-lipped kiss against his right eyebrow and he allowed himself to fall backwards, against the soft mound of fire-warmed cushions and sighed deeply.

I... yes. This is alright.” He swallowed hard, long fingered hands curled against the edges of one of the cushions and held onto the cloth tightly. He felt incredibly full and the harsh burning sensation that he was experiencing down there was increasing with every single motion of the boy's insistent hand. Harry was looking at him closely, green eyes widened and dark with a passionate intensity. He shifted upwards, trying to reach the boy's half-opened lips for a quick kiss when the auror's fingertip suddenly curled inwards and a shot of electric fire brought his every thought to a halt.

"Harry!" He gasped, wide-eyed, and the dammed bastard flicked his finger once again, hurling him down into a spiral of sensation that was threatening to turn him mad with pleasure. Goose-flesh broke across his skin and he began to shiver from head to toes. He had lost all contact with reality and now writhed at the tune the boy was playing. He could feel it when a second finger was very careful inserted within him, but that merciless flickering against the nub buried so deeply inside him kept him unable to react to anything. He felt pleasure, pleasure, pleasure!. He was spiraling within a vortex of white fire that never seemed to stop... A third finger joined the other two and this time the sensation of it was too much. There was too much pressure. Too much burning. There was too much pleasure trying to break his resistance to the invasion and he gasped out loud:

Harry!... Harry, please, don't! I can't!...”

Sshhss!. Sshhss, my love, you are almost there...”

Kisses rained against his jaw, his eyelids, his brow, his ear... then the fingers that had possessed him vanished completely and he cried out in horror at their absence. His eyes widened and his neck tried to lift back up to stare at Harry, but the boy's hand kept him down with a firm palm on his chest.

It's alright, Severus. I swear to you that everything will be alright. Just... give me a moment, please...”

It was then that he realized that the auror was coating himself with some more lube, Harry's hard erection glistened in the firelight as he shifted, bringing himself to a kneeling position against his own heels, before looking straight at him.

I want you to come over here and turn your back to me, Severus. We are going to do this with you in front of me, just like you were when we went flying together. That position will give you some control over what's happening and it'll hurt you far less. It's important that we are careful on your first time. You... all you have to do is come to me, lean back against my chest and trust me. I'll take care of all the rest, I promise...”

His eyes closed for a single second. Then he came up on all fours and crawled, self-consciously, across the mound of pillows towards the gryffindor. When he reached the boy a soft kiss was placed delicately on his trembling lips and then he was urged to turn around and... nest... between the boy's spread thighs. Harry held his hip tightly and those splayed fingers pulled his arse cheeks apart in a way that left him feeling utterly exposed. He was plastered from neck to hip against the child in the next second and a hand curled around his chest, holding him fast.

I want to live forever within you. I want to spill my whole self inside your body. I want to have you hold on to me tightly and never set me free. I want to make love to you and abandon my heart in the palm of your hands...”

His eyes filled with hot tears as those whispered words snared his senses and he curled himself backwards, into the boy. The tip of Harry's cock nudged against him and it entered him carefully in the next second. His entire body trembled with the effort of remaining where he was. He became a pulsing mass of raw need, of fiercely burning desire. He was feeling way too much for his own body and he trembled like a leaf within the embrace that held him.

"Relax... I've got you!. I've got you. Just... fall back into me at your own speed. You have all the control here, Severus. This will happen at your pace, until you are seated, alright?"

He gasped aloud and rocked back some more, scattering a whole new wave of sharp, flame-tipped arrows along every nerve ending that was even loosely connected to his trembling lower back. Harry's hand soothed his flank and a literal shower of open-mouthed kisses were peppered over the back of his sweaty neck and shoulders. He could feel the boy's erection inching further within him. It felt incredibly hot and unyielding, like a burning rod meant to brand cattle into ownership, and he realized it might as well be that. He was dissolving around this fire that filled him and transformed him. He was curling around Harry like a snake holds onto a branch. He was being utterly possessed. Filled to capacity. He was allowing another human being to own him like no one had done before or would ever do afterwards.

Harry's hands settled against his narrow hips and began guiding his clumsy rocking with a gentle but firm focus. The boy shifted them slightly and then he felt that burst of white hot pleasure flash, once again, across the landscape of his consciousness like a blast of summer lightening. He arched backwards, gasping for breath, and his eyes closed to better feel every sensation. Harry embraced him from behind and drove himself within his body. Taking control of their every motion once again. His senses reeled as he felt the boy's hard trusts become less hesitant, more direct, harsher, longer, hotter, harder... He tensed and tensed, coiled like a tightened spring around his own senses and a scream burst from his lips when the auror's hand took hold of his forgotten erection and pulled on it fiercely. One pull, two, was all it took before he finally dissolved into a mass of white-hot heat that burned him from the inside out before spilling forth in a warm spurt of come that coated his own stomach and thighs with the pearly cream of his own release. Harry followed him into orgasm a mere second later and he felt the boy's ejaculate coat his insides. Soft heat settled in the pit of his stomach and he leaned bonelessly backwards, against the quivering mass of muscles that Harry seemed to have become. Short bursts of harsh breathing puffed against the side of his neck and the silky tufts of hair atop his lover's head tickled him when Harry muzzled the sweaty skin at the nape of his neck lovingly. The wild pace of his heartbeat began to slow down and the cooling layer of fine sweat that was settling over his pores made him shiver. He stared blindly into the lively orange-tipped flames that were dancing in the hearth as Harry softened within him and slipped out eventually. He felt strange now that the boy had returned to dwell entirely back in his own body and his dark gaze filled with a burning film of overwhelmed tears. Harry reacted when a single, salty drop plopped against one of the forearms that he'd curled very loosely around his torso and Severus was turned around with excruciating tenderness.

Hey... are you alright? I... did I hurt you?” Worried green eyes tried to clash with his own but he shook his dark head fiercely and buried his flushed face against the auror's wide shoulder.

Careful hands folded around him, rocking him gently back and forth with patient reverence and he would have fallen in love all over again with the man if he hadn't surrendered already to that blasted emotion.

What's wrong?”

Nothing. Nothing is wrong. It was beautiful, Harry. Utterly beautiful. I... I can't believe how wonderful it was...”

Yes, it was.”

A soft kiss was placed then over his bony shoulder and he was laid back down, against their mound of pillows, with protective strength. Harry's wand cast a single cleansing spell over them both and then the boy came to him, curled around his form and cradled him against his heart as if he were a newborn calf. Some thick blankets were summoned from the bedrooms and carefully spread over them, trapping them within a cocoon of soft, fire-warmed fleece. Harry played with his hair in the easy silence and he felt heavy lidded, and too boneless to try fighting against sleep. His eyes closed and he drifted away. Straight into a bright world that held no nightmares.

TBC...

Ch41

Ch43

(no subject)

Date: 2013-11-30 09:47 pm (UTC)
sarahsezlove: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sarahsezlove
Been reading this over on ff.net, but had to hop on over to read this gorgeous chapter. It was worth the journey :)

January 2025

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