The voice under all silences. Chapter 41

[pekeleke]

The voice under all silences. Chapter 41

The Northern coast of Wales boasts a dismal tendency to welcome chilly winds and heavy rain during mid-April. Entire summer-oriented vacation villages, and every business associated with them, are almost totally deserted at this time of the year and the quirky, old-fashioned, communities that dot the whole of the coast greet most out-of-season visitors with a dismaying sense of forlorn emptiness.

Although he could definitely appreciate the raw appeal of the rugged coastal outline that Harry's home had been built to overlook the constant freezing rain and thick fog diminished his enjoyment of it greatly. Add to that the fact that he'd been fretting about this vacation for well over a month now and the result was a jumpy headmaster who seemed to be walking on eggshells every single second of the day.

After his conversation with Draco, he'd found himself worrying about how to explain his... purity... to Harry. Despite his godson's reassurances he still wasn't so convinced that his lack of sexual experience would be received in as positive a light as Draco had suggested. He didn't want to sound pathetic, when he finally confessed, but he couldn't possibly imply that he'd remained chaste out of anything other than lack of... opportunity.

He'd never felt so frightened of a single conversation before, and it showed in his constant distraction. In his jumpy, snappy attitude. In the fact that he'd attempted, at least thrice, to voice aloud this particular confession but had ended up chickening out at the last second, to Harry's obvious bewilderment.

The auror was looking at him now from the corner of his eye. He had settled on the couch with a Quidditch magazine, apparently enjoying the warmth coming off the hearth as the late evening gave way to the night itself. Severus was attempting to fake being engrossed within the dry facts of the latest Potion's Quarterly but, so far, he was mostly certain that he was failing in this self-appointed task abysmally.

They had arrived two days ago and the experience had been both, soothing and incredibly stressful in equal measure. He'd discovered that their romantic relationship added something impossible to define to their co-habitation. They were far more comfortable with one another than they'd been in the muggle flat. They were able to... merge... their different needs seamlessly into a whole that was both, surprisingly peaceful and utterly fulfilling.

He could drink his tea now without feeling like hurling every time he saw Harry's runny porridge. He could argue more freely about the auror's far too unhealthy preferences in food. They could sit and... kiss... for hours, without either of them looking at the clock, waiting for that second when the boy would finally say that it was getting far too late to be out of bed...

Thinking about beds reminded him of the fact that there were two dormitories in the house. He didn't know if he was more relieved or upset about the obvious fact that he hadn't been brought here to be... seduced. He'd looked at the spare bedroom with a growing sense of forlorn inadequacy and the fact that the gryffindor had failed to... sense his growing unease had come as a shockingly harsh blow to him.

He sighed and rubbed the bump on the bridge of his nose warily, telling himself firmly that this wasn't Harry's fault. He'd grown used to the boy's perceptiveness and was, by now, so accustomed to the idea that whatever troubled him would end up being, not only picked up by his partner, but also promptly addressed that he was becoming lazy in many ways.

He'd been appalled by the unwelcome realization that he'd grown used to allowing the child's emotional strength to become a clutch of sorts. Something that he used as a tool to force himself into dealing with whatever it was that they had to deal with. If Harry brought up an issue, any issue, he was willing enough to address it with the truth, but... he had yet to be the one to instigate one of these conversations. He had yet to be the one to have the confidence of daring to imply that something relating to their relationship made him unhappy...

It wasn't until a single lock of his hair had been carefully brushed off his face that he realized that Harry had, not only abandoned his reading, but also scooted closer to him on the couch that they were sharing.

“What is it, Severus?. Are you feeling... cooped up in so small a house?. We could go back to Hogwarts if that'll make you more comfortable, you know?. I can have us both packed up within the hour, all you have to do is say the words.”

His face turned into Harry's gentle hand. Pale skin accepting, without a single word needing to be spoken, the implied caress that the auror's fingers had been trying to deliver to his bony cheek.

“Your home is fine, Harry.” He half-whispered after a second, and allowed his dark eyes to fix on the boy's green ones, mentally willing him to address their lack of... progress... on the physical department.

“You don't like the village?”

Disappointment surged through his veins like a tidal wave and he closed his eyes, bringing his long eyelashes into delicate, fluttery contact against the very tips of Harry's finger-pads. Silence descended, like a dark cloud, over the room and he tensed in instinctive expectation of some sort of... criticism.

“Severus?”

The gryffindor sounded genuinely puzzled. The boy was waiting for some kind of explanation that he could not bring himself to offer and his own inability to just... open his mouth and allow whatever came out to fall where it may, riled him to no end!.

“I'm nervous about this vacation. I don't know what you are expecting to happen between us, and it's driving me spare. I just... I think I need some sort of clarification about exactly what is it that we are doing here.”

Harry sighed and turned fully around, kneeling carefully on the sofa so that his face was directly in front of Severus' own. Searching green eyes settled over him and a smile that was as tender as it was filled with a pained sort of patience curved the boy's lips upwards.

“We are trying to spend some time together, Severus. Nothing more, but also nothing less. We are attempting to become even closer. Trying to create the kind of memories that we'll remember with fondness one day. We are trying to cheat time and stretch these short two weeks into an eternity of kisses and walks along the shore. We are trying to overdose on fire-warmed evenings and quiet conversations that start out with the possibility of them lasting all night long. We are trying to build a stronger, better, us.”

His heart pounded against the constraining prison of his ribcage and he blinked away the fierce burning that had started to sting his widened dark eyes.

“That sounds... wonderful” He managed to croak after a second or two of dazed, awed silence. He could not even imagine what he'd be doing back at Hogwarts right about now. Could not recall what he'd done in the last years during any of his vacations other than... toil at his many tasks, like a little diligent squirrel. He'd spied and he'd marked papers. He'd brewed potions and obeyed commands. He'd cursed, he'd cured, he'd murdered and lied. But he hadn't had a second for himself...

“I'm glad that you think so, Severus. I want our first vacation together to be perfect.” Harry's smile was soft and loving, gentle. Tanned hands framed his face and held it like a treasure before the gryffindor's lips descended over his own. They kissed with the kind of delicate care of the very early days and he felt so utterly adored that his every doubt abandoned him under the onslaught of emotion that was bombarding his overwhelmed senses.

Harry's lips moved tenderly over his, a warm tongue-tip prodded him open and he sighed against it with eager abandon. His neck curled against the top curve of the couch and he felt his partner's right hand settle on the nape of his neck, in an effort to cushion the exposed back of his head from the hard wooden edge that framed the sofa. The simple action sank under his skin like a dart meant for his heart. It lodged deeply there, eroding the very last of his defenses, and he gasped against Harry's mouth with unbridled surrender.

When they parted to stare at one another, like a pair of crazed teenagers, they were both burning with desire. They were both breathless and both certain that they might not actually live to see the daylight, unless they burrowed under the other's skin and learned to live there.

“Severus, I...”

“Harry!” He interrupted the boy in a rush of panicked urgency. He'd finally found the courage to speak out and was terrified of losing it again, unless he spoke his mind out loud this instant. He'd finally found the faith that he'd been lacking when he'd looked deeply into these emerald eyes and seen nothing but a simple refection of himself within their depths. He could build his home right here: inside this gaze that saw him. He could find shelter in these arms that had never, ever, failed to protect him. He could become so much more than he'd ever been, if only he could have this man's encouragement in his life.

“Harry I... I need you to understand that I do love you” He whispered it fiercely and felt not a speck of fear touch his heart as his companion stilled before him. Shocked silence met his declaration and a gasp that wasn't his own rent the sudden quietude.

Their gazes clashed and he allowed himself to wear his heart on his sleeve for this man's benefit. He was undone by the power of the emotion he'd just named, but he wanted to be undone by it. He didn't fear his own emotions any longer. Had no desire to hide them or deny them in any way. He felt vulnerable and powerful at the same time and he liked it. He felt safe, and free, and whole. He felt... amazing!.

He smiled then with the kind of bright and joyful expression that his face hadn't really had that many chances to show before this second.

Harry blinked dazedly at him, emerald pools of deep devotion turned bright with a crystalline film of barely repressed tears as the silence simply stretched into eternity. It was a full minute or two before his gryffindor finally pleaded with a gruff, wavering voice:

“Tell me that you are right here... that you are awake and you are safe. Tell me that we are together, here in Wales, and I am not asleep, please!... Tell me that this is true. That this is happening. That I've just heard you turn my every dream into reality...”

Severus laughed with the kind of exuberant mirth that he hadn't felt in years and the smile that curved his lips became even more obvious. It was a rare and beautiful thing, joyful and loving.

“You are awake, Harry. We both are...”

He was gathered like a treasure then. Held between the gryffindor's strong arms and kissed soundly. His lips throbbed under the onslaught of the passion being bestowed upon them like a benediction. Or a promise. Or acceptance.

One caress merged into another and he became the adored recipient of a million loving kisses. His lips were possessed, traced, claimed. Then his cheeks followed the same fate. His jawline was similarly attacked and the curve of his ears, his forehead, his eyelids, the very top of his head...

Their lips parted but their skins remained linked through their hands. Their gazes interlocked and Severus' long hair was spread along the entire length of Harry's right arm. They were both breathless. Both exultant with happiness. Both maddened with love.

“I... lost hope so many times, Severus. I... accepted so many things, so many others who were never really able to match you in any way... I allowed myself to settle for second best, and even third and forth. I wanted to love you with my every waking thought, but ended up failing in that task out of sheer... desperation.

I'd love to say that I deserve you, but I know that I don't. You would have been faithful. I know you would have!. You wouldn't have ever settled for another. You wouldn't have lost your faith so many times... I know that I'm not the right kind of man for you. I know that I'm too selfish and impatient, too driven by the rashness of my nature to come even close to being the sort of man that you deserve. But I don't want to see you love another. I don't want to step aside and find a manful smile from somewhere when you finally met a bloody paragon of patience. I want you for myself!. I want to hold onto you, onto this. I'm selfish enough to dare trying to keep you shackled to my life. I'm flawed enough to look you in the eye and hope that you never discover another who loves you better. Less selfishly. More patiently... I wish to have you for myself from this day forth, Severus... and I'm praying with all of my strength that you never tire of me. Of us. Of this...”

He felt choked with sheer tenderness as he absorbed every word like a sponge left out in the rain. They were soothing his every fear. Healing his every wound, turning this one moment of his life into a single, flawless rendition of perfection. If he could live to feel greater joy than he felt in this one second, then he'd have to find himself another heart to fit all of his emotions into, because they would surely be too much, simply... too much, for a single human organ to contain. If could feel any more complete than he felt now, then he'll become another man altogether. If he could find a way to exist... forever... in this moment he'd certainly die trying to do so.

“I told you once that you have more faith in me than I deserve, Harry. I doubt that I'm such a treasure, but I'll take your word for it. I'd like all that praying to be gone, though. I'm tired of praying for everything. I don't want to fear that another might come between us, either. I want to have certainty and trust. I want to be... myself. Only myself. I want you to be whoever you truly are while we are together. I don't care if that happens to be a selfish and flawed person or simply a youth who can be stubborn beyond measure. I do not deserve you, either, but I will hold onto you, too. I'll hold onto us, onto this, with all of my strength, and heart, and soul. I want to allow myself to become yours with everything that I am.”

“Yes. Yes!. I want that, too.”

They stared into each other's eyes for a long time. Harry's fingers soon began to comb gently through his long, dark hair and the peace that grew between them was addictive.

The fire crackled in the grate and a sudden burst of freezing rain began to lash against the windowpane. They ignored the storm completely and remained locked together within this bubble filled with sheer love that they had just created. They found warm safety within the arms of one another, so much so that they had no awareness of the elements that raged on the other side of the door. It was as if they were blind, and deaf, to the very existence of the outside world.

“Harry I... I haven't been entirely honest with you about something and I don't know how to say this to you, other that to just... I... I...” His voice failed him completely and he became unable to continue. His cheeks flushed scarlet and his eyes lowered. His throat convulsed nervously as his long body became rigid with anxiety.

Harry's whole frame froze next to his own and a hand that trembled visibly came to hold him by the chin, bringing his blushing face upwards so that his ebony colored eyes could come into direct contact with the green ones.

“What is it? Please, whatever it is just... say it. You are really scaring me, Severus!”

His teeth found the soft tissue of his lower lip and dug into it worriedly, until his companion forced him to release the tortured skin with a single, gentle pat of his thumb.

“I... you'll think that I'm a freak...”

“A freak?... That doesn't make any sense!.”

He felt utterly mortified by the confession that he was about to make and it showed clearly in his face. Harry's puzzled frown gave him encouragement, but the words abandoned him waveringly.

“I've already told you how I've been... described... with cruel accuracy many times before. I... I am not an attractive man. I was never an attractive teenager, either. So far I... I've failed miserably to inspire any kind of physical interest towards my person.

Draco thinks it imperative that I tell you exactly how... lacking... my actual sexual experience is. He believes that it'd be a mistake for me to allow you to continue laboring under the erroneous assumption that I've been... touched... by another, when I haven't. I... I... I've never been... I am still a virgin, Harry.”

The moment hung as if suspended by a thread and the auror remained frozen to the spot. There was something wide and bright fleeting through those emerald-painted eyes that had all the hallmarks of incredulity. Harry seemed shell-shocked. Utterly paralyzed by surprise. There was no laughter of any kind in his expression. There was only the most obvious disbelief plastered, like a mask, over the slack-jawed lines of his astounded face. As one heartbeat slowly gave way to another an amazed sort of look started to appear on that young visage. There was awe and there was... reverence. There was a sudden, trembling descent into adoration as those tanned fingers rose towards his own ashen face and held it oh-so-gently. Harry looked straight at him with utter humbleness.

“Thank you, my love. Thank you for being you. Thank you for keeping to your ideals and your hopes. For giving me this incredible gift that I can never offer you in return. I am... honored... beyond measure in this instant. I shall always strive to deserve being with you. I'm going to cherish you until we are both gray and old and can't remember each other's names...”

A shy smile appeared in Severus' face. He could feel it blossoming there, but had no actual idea of just how... appealing... it made him look.

“That's quite the claim, Potter. I wonder if you'll think the same in a couple of days, let alone years into the future. I must warn you now, though: I'm not the easiest of men to get involved with. I tend to be rather difficult. Let's not rush too far ahead yet, all right? I detest being made promises to, only to find out at the last second that they were all perfectly worthless. I think it's better to just... be honest and recognize that things will be difficult. Maybe even distressingly hard, at least for me. I prefer to promise that I'll attempt to survive every day as it comes. I'll attempt to be more open, less defensive, more trusting... Will that be acceptable to you, at least for now?”

Harry sobered immediately. His tanned face became so serious that he looked like a monolith under the flickering light that came off from the fire.

“I told you this before, Severus. I can do patience for you, as long as you don't try to block me off. I... I react badly to that. I don't mind you screaming at me to leave you alone for a while, but you'll have to actually say it. Do you understand? Trying to guess what you need all by myself, while you run away and give me the silent treatment, really messes with my head.”

He could see what they were doing. They were actually laying the terms that would become the very foundations of their future relationship in this very instant. They were openly admitting that they actually had a future that included their long-term togetherness. They were becoming even more officially... involved. He faltered for a single heartbeat, utterly spooked by the immensity of the moment. He became suddenly aware that he wouldn't be the same ever again. Not after this second. This moment would change his life forever. It would chance his soul. His fate. His dreams. This moment would make or break his future. It would make or break him...

“I am willing to try, Harry. I'll need help though. I don't think I'm very good at relating to others in general and what we are trying to build together falls so far outside the realms of my already limited experience that it could actually be considered uncharted territory. I'm afraid of messing this up. I don't want to risk and lose. Not for a short-lived affair. I don't have the strength for that. I'm too old for games of any kind, so... could we agree not to move forwards, unless this matters to you beyond a night, a week, or even a month?. I... I don't want you to play with my emotions. Not in that manner, please.”

Harry looked right at him for a long time, he had shifted into a kneeling position on the sofa, so that both their faces were almost at a level. They were close, very close. Harry's body literally barred his view of the rest of the room. Of the rest of the world. He could only see the boy, could only feel the warmth that emanated from his young body reach across the small distance that separated their chests to fill him with a breathless sort of nervous anxiety.

He felt the soft puffs of air that were coming off the auror's mouth, with every breath that he exhaled, fall across his own cheekbones and lips. Across his chin and neck. Across the entirety of his face and shivered in overwhelmed reaction to their touch.

After a few seconds of increasingly focused scrutiny Harry's hand rose to bury itself in his scalp. His hair shifted and rearranged itself to flow, around the tanned digits trying to claim ownership of it, like drops of ebony rainwater. Those green eyes nailed him to the spot with the kind of fire that could have scorched a volcano without effort.

“Don't you understand what I want from you, from us, Severus? Are you even aware of the fact that I... I've been obsessed with you for a very long time now? Can you cope with the idea that you probably mean more to me than I shall ever mean to you?. Could you live with the knowledge that I... crave... you, like the air I need to breathe? Do you understand that I probably need you more than I need food, or drink, or even sleep?.

I desire everything from you. I will take anything that you are comfortable with giving me, though. But you must understand that a day alone will not be enough. A week will be... too little. A month couldn't possibly quench one tenth of the thirst that I feel towards you. I want forever. I want marriage, family, belonging... I want it all. That is what I want, it might not be what I get. It might be something that you'll never grow comfortable enough to give me, but that doesn't change the fact that I will always wish for it. Always!...

I am not playing any games here. Not with you. Not with your heart. And definitely never with us... This relationship means everything to me.”

There were no words left in Severus. None in his mind nor his heart. None in his memories of all the advice that had been given to him by far wiser men than he, himself, had ever been. There was nothing that he could possibly offer in answer to that statement. Nothing that could possibly either made justice to it nor give the boy some sort of... promise... of a future were his dreams might actually become true.

“I don't know what I can give you, Harry. I don't know how long, or how far, I'll be able to go with this relationship. I only know that I'm willing to try my best. I'm willing to go further than I've have ever gone before. I'm willing to give you more than I've ever given anyone else. I'm not sure if it will be enough, though. Not when you need... so much more.”

Harry's hands on his hair were utterly soothing. They played in his dark locks with digit-shaking devotion. The boy seemed to need that simple contact with the same kind of urgency that force all men to seek their next lungful of air.

“It was enough when all I had of you was your unconscious body on an infirmary bed and a million and one memories of the war pummeled my brain every single time that I tried to make contact with your wounded mind. It was enough when you woke up and I could hear your voice again, see your eyes narrow as they looked me up and down. Witness your courageous nature come to the fore in every single action that you took to protect yourself and Draco from my threats. It was enough when all I had was friendship. And now... now that I have you here willingly in my arms, now that you've told me that you love me... It's more than I ever imagined. It's perfection. It's... rapture. It's happiness come to life within this cabin. I want this. I do!. I won't ever regret this choice. I will be happy without promises of tomorrow. I can live for today, as long as you are right here...”

He smiled softly. Ebony colored gaze turned warmer than it had ever been as he looked into those eyes that shone limpid with tears. The moment hung as they looked at one another with the kind of openness that was rare between them. There were no more secrets here. No more fears. Nothing else to hide or protect from the other one. There was only peace. And love. And magic. There was only them...

When he lifted his own hands to frame that young face he didn't know that he was doing it in order to better kiss the younger man, but that's exactly what he did mere moments later. They curled on the sofa, coiled tightly around one another, holding onto a shoulder, a neck, a lock of hair, a hand... their lips joined again and again in a dance that could not end, while the fire danced gently in the bright crate and the pelting rain washed the craggy shoreline throughout the long hours of the evening.

Midnight caught them still together on the sofa. Tired eyes that were alive with joy, with passion, shone brightly in a pair of faces that portrayed a blissful kind of happiness. Their lips smiled, reddened and swollen from their passionate kisses and their hands clasped one another loosely, as if their skin could not cope with the simple idea of them being apart.

Harry stirred first and they both froze as the very nature of their relationship hung in the balance. They had kissed and hugged. They had declared themselves to be emotionally involved. They had promised their present to one another, but they hadn't lain together as a couple. They hadn't bared themselves before the other. They hadn't yet attempted to become... lovers.

“How far will you let me go, Severus? How much of yourself will you give to me?... Would you like to sleep alone, in your own room, or would you grant me the honor of agreeing to share my bed tonight?”

Black eyes blinked in the gloom but did not lower. They shone bright and certain, committed. Their owner's voice trembled almost imperceptibly when he answered in a low, roughened whisper.

“I don't want any more loneliness.”

Harry's smile was bright and careful.

“Do you want me to just... hold you, all night long, so that we might sleep and wake entwined tomorrow?”

Severus blushed scarlet at the images that crossed his mind in that one second. They were born from his memories of the pictures that he'd seen in the book he'd bought for himself and from having been unwilling witness to the thousand teenage clinches that he'd interrupted, while patrolling the astronomy tower, in the dead of the night. They were Images born from the whispered conversations that he'd overhead in the boy's changing rooms during his awkward teenage years. They were images that he'd never actually dared to believe he'd be mirroring one day outside the realms of his own impossible dreams.

“I... I like kissing you, Harry. I'd like to find out if... if...” He could not actually finish that sentence. He felt crippled by embarrassment. By shyness. By the kind of insecurity that spanned entire decades of his life. His eyes lowered in that second and he felt his confidence crumble under a million and one doubts. He... he could not possibly appeal to Harry physically, could he?. He was too thin. Too tall. Too ugly... He didn't want to picture the kind of men the gryffindor had bedded in the past. There was no way on Earth that he could possibly compete with any of them...

This was just... it was ridiculous!. It was insane. He was going to end up hurt in the worst way...

“Severus, look at me. Look. At. Me!” Tanned digits held his chin and pushed it very slightly upwards, until his haunted dark gaze settled over a veritable blaze of green colored tenderness. “Do you want more than kisses?”

He swallowed thickly. Words just failed him and he dared not shake Harry's hand away, lest he manage to loose with that one action whatever fragile wisps of his tattered courage still remained inside him. He could only go as far as nodding weakly. A single, jerky movement of unmistakable assent.

Harry's exhalation bathed his face with breath-warmed air and he remained very still as those green eyes studied him quietly.

“How much more do you want? Will you allow me to see you bare? Do you trust me enough for that?”

Indecision tempted his cautious nature to answer with a negative that he knew he couldn't afford. If he took the easy way out now, Harry would always remain a careful beggar in his life. A man forced to request physical affection. A castrated slave to love in every way that mattered. Cowardice on his part now would forever bring him humiliation. His and Harry's, both. He didn't want to have to grant permission for the other man to touch him in the future. He didn't want to use the physical side of their relationship as a weapon. He wanted truth and he wanted care. But he also wanted... real warmth. Real emotions. Spontaneity...

“I am not an attractive man, Harry...”

Determined hands held his head and a blunt-tipped finger brushed his lips into submissive silence while those eyes searched his own with unrelenting seriousness.

“That wasn't what I asked, Severus. I already know that you are afraid. And nervous, and about a millisecond away from becoming the unwilling victim of a veritable mountain of unfounded insecurities. I need you to look me in the eye and answer yes or no: will you trust me to see you bare?. To touch your body?. To be the man who shows you what physical love is?. Will you give yourself to me tonight, my love?”

Silence stretched as his heart thundered within the cage of his ribcage. This was a question that no one else had ever asked him and, as he gathered his courage to give an answer that he'd never before imagined himself giving to anyone, there was more than trepidation filling his whole consciousness. There was curiosity too. There was anticipation and hope. There was affection and trust. There was love. Just love. For Harry...

“Yes” He finally managed to whisper very quietly and, in the thickened silence, his softly voiced answer acquired the very qualities of a shout of sheer rebellion. It echoed around them, surrounding them with it's undeniable meaning before sinking, like a stone, into their minds. Yes. His answer had been yes. Now there was nowhere to hide, there'd be no one to blame if this went wrong...

Harry shifted very slightly beside him, left foot coming off the sofa and finding purchase on the floor before he extended his right hand forwards. Severus looked at that hand for a full second. His own rose to grab it shakily and he swallowed repeatedly, in order to center himself to this time and this place. He was going to do this. He wanted to do it. He trusted this one man enough to believe that his every fragile emotion was going to be perfectly safe here: inside this room, held by these hands, protected by this gryffindor...

The auror's warm hand curled around his own and pulled him upwards, bringing them both out of the sofa and into the fire-warmed space in front of the hearth. Wandless magic was performed on the few cushions that had graced the couch, so that they ended up growing into a gigantic mound of softly colored pillows that were covered with what felt to his touch as Pashmina wool. They collected at their feet, surrounding them. Settling, like incredibly soft pebbles, over the thick rug that occupied the area directly in front of the fireplace.

He stood still as Harry cast the Nox that extinguished the lights, leaving them both bathed in the orange-tinged glow coming off the grate. They could see each other well enough, but they could also use the shadows to hide, should they want, or even need, to do so. He suspected that this had been done as a concession to himself and his reserved nature. It was a gesture that acknowledged his obvious reluctance to accept any kind of exposure and his nerves settled greatly in reaction to that one silent, generously offered reprieve.

“We'll go slowly, Severus...” Harry whispered into the shadowed space that separated them and he shivered with sheer nerves.

A hand came to rest on his waist for a brief second. It remained there, held in utter stillness by its owner, until it's pair touched his chin briefly, turning his head slightly and bringing his averted face into the light. His dark eyes entered into a collision course with emerald green and they both looked at one another for a long second. Then Harry's mouth descended upon his and he was conscious of nothing but the gentleness of that caress.

He held tightly onto the neck of the man who seemed intent on devouring his mouth and felt Harry's arm curve around his own slender waist, bringing him even closer to that wide, athletic chest. He was held against the auror's heart like a precious, treasured jewel, as the gryffindor eased them both slowly down and backwards, into a controlled descent that ended up with them laying over the mound of soft pillows that had collected at their feet.

His dark eyes could see nothing but the boy's face, which hovered: still and fire-tainted with gold, directly above his own. Beautiful emerald eyes looked down on him with obvious devotion, with sexual desire, with the kind of passionate intensity that he'd never seen before at such close range.

“I love you with all of my heart, Severus Snape.”

Every word was low-voiced but certain, whispered just above his own slightly wet and parted lips. It felt as if every syllable of that rough-toned declaration was trying to kiss him too, as each individual word was uttered straight into fragile and short-lived existence. Silence settled over them and the instant froze in time, forging the kind of delicate memory that he knew he'd protect with all his might. His eyes shone, dark like polished onyx, and filled with blind trust. He belonged, in this instant, to this man who held him with utmost care. He understood that he'd be linked, from this night forth, with Harry James Potter. He was pledging himself in all: body, heart and soul, to the son of his childhood rival but he wasn't afraid of his own daring. He'd be part of a pair, at long last. He'd belong... he couldn't find a single thing to fear in that prospect and he smiled. Truly smiled. Wholeheartedly...

The fire crackled beside them and a sudden burst of raindrops hit the darkened windowpanes. Harry lowered his head towards him in a painfully slowly arch and he waited beyond patience for the right moment to whisper his own gruff answer against those approaching lips. He spoke the words against his gryffindor's mouth, releasing them into the Ether like a prayer or a benediction. Like a promise meant to tie them into eternity, like the kiss that he could almost feel already settling, with utter reverence, against his trembling mouth:

“I love you too, Harry Potter...”

TBC...

  

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