On Shaky Ground.

[pekeleke]

Title: On Shaky Ground.

Fandom: Harry potter (Snarry)

Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape.

Author: pekeleke.

Rating: G

Word count: 911.

Disclaimer: Don't own these characters. No money is being made out of this work.

A/N: Unbetaed. Written for the adventdrabbles 2012 Prompt 5: The gift of jewelry.

This is the fifth part in my Seeking home series.

Summary: Severus stumbles for the first time. Now it's Harry's turn to stand his ground...

 

On Shaky Ground.

Rosmertas' was virtually empty. Harry took a small sip of his drink, trying to push his nerves away for the time being. He didn't want them to taint the memory of his first date with Severus. He wanted to focus all of his attention, all of his being, on the dark-haired man who sat before him, quietly drinking his beer and scanning the room with the kind of curiosity that betrayed a lack of... familiarity... with the place.

“You don't usually come here, do you?”

 

“I haven't been here since the war. It reminds me of things I'd rather forget. The Carrows used to come here all the time when they lived in Hogwarts. I was often forced to accompany them.”

 

Harry's stomach dropped to his feet. He didn't know how to respond to that thoroughly unwelcome statement, but he couldn't afford to ignore the pointed reference to Severus' violent past.

“Severus...”

 

“Don't worry. I don't want to talk about it, either. It's just... coming here was a mistake.”

 

Harry's gaze settled on the faint blush that was beginning to spread across Severus' face. His hands curled even more tightly around his drink and his stomach started churning with anxiety. He could tell that Severus was embarrassed by the turn the conversation had just taken, but... the war had been their reality for a very long time. They both played major roles in it, lost dear friends and irreplaceable parental figures. It was impossible to deny that they shared a common, terrible, past. Trying to ignore that would be a mistake...

“I understand your desire to replace your bad memories with new ones, Severus. I've started doing that myself, you know? I'm still on shaky ground, but I'm trying to exorcise the fear I lived with for so long. I'm trying to leave it behind, where it can no longer hurt me. I want to move forwards. Heal. Build a brighter future for myself... I'm hoping you'll be a part of that.”

 

“Stop. Please... you are going way too fast.”

 

Harry frowned, unsettled by Severus' obvious distress.

“Why are you so afraid? I'm not going anywhere, I promise. You are not waking up tomorrow to discover that this is some kind of sick prank. I'm engaged right down to the heart, Severus. I'm in love with you.”

 

Utterly wary black eyes closed, as if in pain. There was a second of complete silence before Severus' dark eyelashes fluttered open again. They did it slowly, so very slowly... and the fierce defensiveness powering the look they unveiled was enough to take Harry's breath away.

“Love is a dangerous word. It's not meant to be whispered casually, Potter. This is the second time you mention it to me and I need you to stop throwing it in my face at every turn. Love belongs to the worthy and the brave. It's the deserved reward of the strong, the fair, the generous... It dwells far away from here: among chocolates and poems and exuberant gifts of jewelry. Love is a prize that I haven't earned yet, so don't you dare mention it again.”

 

Harry gritted his teeth, becoming mad enough to growl with raw-toned fierceness:

“Love doesn't have to be earned, Severus. It just... happens. Love is a beautiful emotion that doesn't follow logic. It doesn't listen to rules and can't understand self-hatred. I don't know how many bastards it took to convince you that you must pander to your lover's selfish needs, in order to earn every crumb of affection, but they were dead wrong about it. They weren't fit to lick the mud off your boots, let alone force you to beg for their attention. You are already worthy. You have every right in the world to be someone's beloved!”

 

“Harry...”

 

“No. I'm not listening to this. I refuse to keep my emotions under wraps. I love you without conditions, Severus. Without any ifs, or whens, or maybes. I haven't thought about the exuberant jewelry, but I've been ready to ply you with flowers and chocolates for ages. I'm sure I could write you at least one corny poem. I baked you a whole replica of Hogwarts, for Merlin's sake!...”

 

Severus laughed then, bringing Harry's miffed rant to an abrupt halt. He stared dazedly at the wonderful man who sat across from him, frantically biting his lower lip in order to stop the rather appealing sound of his seemingly irrepressible mirth. Then he smiled too, realizing that this moment would be etched in his memory forever. He'll never let go of this beauty, never relinquish his claim to this one instant. Never give up on his quest to make Severus laugh like this again. He wanted to hear this sound more often. Wanted to see this smile again. Wanted this man to be happy enough to laugh with his whole mind and body, with his whole heart...

 

Their laughter died slowly and they both became very still, watching each other with a new and distressing caution. Harry swallowed hard before daring to repeat the one truth that he couldn't keep denying:

“This is going all the way, Severus. I'm not giving up on us. I'm in love with you for real.”

 

Time itself stopped turning as he waited for the reaction that would make or break their future. The slytherin thought long and hard about his answer. Finally Severus sighed, rubbed a weary hand across his pale features and found enough courage to whisper:

“I believe you, Harry...

back.

next.

 

 

Comments

[alisanne]

Well, like the Gryffindor he is, Harry's laid his cards on the table. Now the bail's in Severus' court!
This is an lovely, tender series. :)

[pekeleke]

Harry's boldness had to come out at some point ;)
I'm sure Severus will find a way to pull through, he seems to be as determined as Harry to move forwards. I'm glad you find this lovely. Thank you for your generous review.

[lilyseyes]

Come on, Severus, give Harry some hope!

[pekeleke]

Severus is being a bit too cautious, isn't he? I'm sure he will find a way to cope with Harry's usual need to run before he walks ;)
I was glad to hear from you. Thanks for taking the time to review.

[unbroken_halo]

YAY! Wondered when that Gryffindor courage was going to erupt.

[pekeleke]

Well... It had to happen someday. Harry can't do anything patiently. Let's hope Severus manages to cope with his enthusiasm. I'm glad you are still enjoying this series. Thanks for your review. :)

[fallconsmate]

oh how terribly sweet... don quixote against the terrible windmill, and at last a victory. beautifully done!

[pekeleke]

I'm glad you enjoyed Harry's fighting mood. Thank you for your generous review. :)

[emynn]

Aww I love that Harry now knows exactly what to say to diffuse a dangerous Severus situation. I'm sure there will be plenty more moments like these. I think they're both going to be stepping outside of their comfort zones, but it will so be worth it. ♥

[pekeleke]

True, they are both out of their depth, but also willing to make things work between them and that will hopefully see them through whatever troubles might arise. I'm happy to see you are enjoying this. Thanks so much for all your lovely comments. :)