Above Sleeping Seeds.

[pekeleke]

Title: Above Sleeping Seeds.

Fandom: Harry potter (Snarry)

Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape.

Author: pekeleke.

Rating: G.

Word count: 988.

Disclaimer: Don't own these characters. No money is being made out of this work.

A/N: Unbetaed. Written for the adventdrabbles 2012 Prompt 19: Yule Log.

This is the nineteenth part in my Seeking Home series.

Summary: Winter snow buries all seeds under a frozen layer that no flower can survive. But winter doesn't last forever and every seed will become a flower in the spring...

 

Above Sleeping Seeds.

Severus apparated outside the familiar gates of Malfoy Manor and curled his pale fingers around a single one of the wrought-iron bars that blocked his path. The wards swirled around his hand, recognizing his magical signature, before allowing him access to the grounds. He walked forwards slowly, carefully balancing the Yule Log he was carrying in his arms, but came to a sudden halt when he spotted Draco sitting on a bench.
“What are you doing here? I'm not giving you the log until I enter the house. Exchanging it outside will bring you bad luck”

 

Stormy grey eyes looked warily past him.
“Where is Potter?”

 

Severus stiffened at once. He'd known this conversation was unavoidable, but he wasn't ready for it and his reluctance showed clearly in his expression.
“He's gone to visit the Weasley's”

 

“Oh, I see. He's trying to be... delicate. I saw The Prophet's pictures of the two of you. You looked happy, Severus. I spent the week staring at them obsessively, trying to understand why they break my heart so badly. I finally realized that I can't bear to see the expression in your eyes... I've never seen them so bright with joy before.”

 

Severus shifted uncomfortably.
“Don't do this, please”

 

“Don't do what? Look you in the eye and tell you that I... see? Confront the fact that Potter wins again and I'm left out in the dust? Feel unbearably sorry for myself, hurt so much that I can barely breathe, become jealous beyond reason and crumble in front of you, like the small child you believe me to be?  I can't fake normality when I'm breaking apart. I might be more like my mother than we ever realized.”

 

“Your mother is a strong, courageous woman. She followed her heart out of Voldermort's clutches. Her actions during the final battle changed the outcome of the war. We wouldn't have won without her.”

 

Draco's eyes turned towards the house, looking at Narcissa's window instinctively:
“Those actions cost her dearly. We're free, but father's gone and she's lost without him.”

 

“I'm sorry, Draco. I'm so sorry...”

 

“For what? It was her choice. There's nothing you can do.”

 

Severus placed the Yule Log on the ground before confronting those grey orbs that brimmed with hurt.
“True. But she's sick and I...”

 

“You've don't need to feel guilty. You're here, aren't you? Bringing me next year's light and worrying about my luck. You can't deny you love me, because you do. You just... love Potter more”

 

“Not more, just... differently. Watching you wasting away like this is breaking my heart, Draco. I'm not worth it. I'm too damaged myself to know how to put you back together. You need someone with an unbreakable faith in love. Someone who knows how to laugh in the face of adversity. Someone with enough courage to stand by you, no matter what. Someone patient, determined and willing to love you above all others...”

 

Broken-hearted grey eyes lowered when the first crystalline tear ran down that delicate cheek.
“Where will I find this paragon? Why would such a man bother to love me, anyway? I'm a disgraced, cowardly slytherin. An ex-Death Eater. A Malfoy. I'm worse than a nobody. I'm unlovable”

 

Severus' stomach churned with the knowledge that he was responsible for Draco's terrible pain. He sat on the bench wearily, feeling utterly unprepared to deal with this mess.
“You're not a nobody. You're the most precious treasure your parents ever possessed. You're the one thing they would have gladly died for. That kind of family loyalty is a gift, Draco. Being a Malfoy isn't a curse, it's an honour that belongs only to you. It's the strength that makes you who you are, because you are your parent's son and they both taught you that family comes first. Your mother chose you above the Dark Lord, above blood purity, above your father himself, and Lucius did exactly the same during the final battle. That sort of strength doesn't deserve scorn, least of all your own.
“I care for you, too. Maybe not in the way you desire, but still strongly enough to worry about you constantly. I want you to recover and be the bright child you used to be. I want to hear your laughter once again. I want to see you become the man you're meant to be and feel too proud to fit my own skin”

 

Pale strands of silver-coloured hair caught the light when that tear-stained face turned towards him:
“Would you...? Do you think Potter would kill me for stealing a hug, Severus? I promise to behave when you bring him for Christmas, but... I think I'll break right now if you don't grant me this small comfort. I know I should walk away, but I need you too much for that. I'll accept you in my life in whichever role you're willing to stay, just... don't leave me, please. You're the only thing I've got left. I don't know how I'd survive if you left...”

 

Severus' reaction was instinctive. He cradled that slight form against his chest as gently as he could, running soothing fingers through soft hair. Draco's face burrowed against his collarbone, drenching his shirt with silent tears while he promised solemnly:
“I'm here, my boy. I'll always be here... This pain won't last forever, Draco. We'll find a way to help your mother. I'll pave your way into the Potions Mastery you've always dreamed about and open as many doors as I'm able for you. You won't face the future alone, I promise. I want to see you recover enough to love again. I want to rejoice like an old hufflepuff when you finally come to accept what I already know: You're better than you think, Draco Malfoy. You're stronger than you realize. You're more beautiful inside than you're outside and you're perfect the way you are. Exactly the way you are...

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